Movie Review: Army of the Dead

Army of the Dead a.k.a The Curse of the Anasazi

Contifilms, USA, 2008.

In 1590 Coronado sends general Fernando Degama and thousand conquistadors to find El Dorado. They find gold but army of skeletons whacks them to death.

John Barnes

Amy Barnes

Professor Vasquez

Centuries later John (Ross Kelly) and Amy Barnes (Stefani Marchesi) are driving to desert location in Mexico. Amy has arranged some dirt racing fun. Also Professor of Archaeology Gordon Vasquez (Miguel Martinez) is invited to the race. It is slightly awkward that John's ex Jenny (Audrey Anderson) and his boyfriend Tobias (Malcolm Madera) are there also. Jenny is still trying to seduce John. Third couple are Matt (Vic Browder) and Alicia (Casey Messer) but they have little importance in the story. Apparently all of them are Professor's students. The race organizers are Fred (Mike Hatfield) and Kristen (Jocelyn Tucker).

Kristen and Fred

Tobias and Jenny

Alicia and Matt

The team gives John a 16th century katana as his birthday present. The Professor tells a ghost story about cursed gold of the Anasazi Indians hidden in the desert. The skeletons kill everyone who finds the treasure, so logically the Professor has a death wish and wants to find it. He has hired some unreliable mercenaries to help him. The map shows that the treasure hidden in the Cave of Souls. The skeletons wake up and start to manufacture some fresh skeletons.

Dirt racing

Dem bones

Skeletons have even a cannon

So the naughty skeletons kill a bunch of people and the Professor becomes possessed. The survivors hide in old radio tower. Hmm, "Assault on Precinct 13" with skeletons? Still the setting is not used adequately. Luckily they have the guns of the dead mercenaries and John has his samurai sword. Also electricity seems to be effective against the skeletons (but isn't bone an insulating material...) In the end there is a slight nod to the finale of "The Terminator."

Absolutely shocking

The concept of the movie sounds promising. Skeleton warriors with shotguns! The cover image looks cool. It looks like homage to Ray Harryhausen's stop motion animations and "Army of Darkness." Then the movie begins and brings a disappointment. First the picture quality looks like cheap digital video. Second the characters are generic and boring. Third it takes ages before the skeletons appear. Again the cover image promises more than it can hold, there are no skeletons armed with Spas-12 shotguns, and only one skeleton uses some regular pump-action shotgun. On the positive side it has some almost good skeleton effects. However the animations are reused over and over again. Except for clouds of badly animated CGI blood, this looks something only kids could take seriously. Lots of time is spent on just driving around the desert (something that seems to happen often in cheap scifi/horror films for example the films of The Asylum or "Manos the Hands of Fate"). It could have been passable B-movie if the characters had been more interesting, or there had been some humour, either intended or unintentional.

Rating: Bad

Starring: Ross Kelly, Stefani Marchesi, Miguel Martinez, Mike Hatfield, Casey Messer, Malcolm Madera, Audrey Anderson, Vic Browder, Jocelyn Tucker, Jeff Mocho, Matt Comacho, Jason E. Hill, Brian Neal Lucero, Mateo Sarria, Angelo Trujillo, Brendan Clark, Morgan Clark, Fernando Gonzales

Director: Joseph Conti