Movie Review: Boa vs. Python

Boa vs. Python 

Columbia TriStar Home Entertainment, Unified Film Organization (UFO), Blaze Productions LLC, BUFO USA, Bulgaria, 2004. 

Mr. Broddick (Adamo Palladino) has ordered a giant python (green snake) for a weekend hunt. It is wonderful what you can order from eBay. The snake escapes and the truck explodes. Sensationalist reporter Kent Humphries (Jeff Rank) suspects terrorists. Laconic Agent Sharpe (Kirk B.R. Woller) finds a snake scale. Outstanding. 

Mr. Broddick and Eve

Kent Humphries

Agent Sharpe

In Philadelphia the snake attacks water power plant. Navy diver Monica Bonds (Jaime Bergman) and snake expert Dr. Emmett (David Hewlett) are called for help. Dr. Emmett has a giant boa named Betty (red snake). Sharpe wants to use the boa and Monica's bionic implants to track the other snake. 

Monica Bonds

Dr. Emmett

Meanwhile Mr. Broddick, his girlfriend Eve (former Playboy-model Angel Boris Reed) and business partners cowboy Tex (Harry Anichkin), Tom Berenger fanboy sniper Mr. Foley (Atanas Srebrev), redneck father and son team Danner (George R. Sheffey) & James (Griff Furst) and fake Indian crossbow hunter Littlefield (Ivo Naidenov) are going to hunt the snake. The fools do not know that the snake is invulnerable to bullets. The hunters hunt in the forest and the scientists in the sewers. Soon the two groups meet with catastrophic results. 

The hunting party

Python vs. Tex

Mr. Broddick likes to burn things

Before that the boa gets out of control even though there is a remote control for putting the snake to sleep. Cool, I have a lighter that looks like Dr. Emmett's remote control!

Dr. Emmett's remote control

My cool lighter

The action climaxes in nightclub that is also a subway station (?). The DJ plays The Prodigy- style knock-off music before the python complaints against the loud music. Mr. Broddick decides to have a barbecue party.

"Boa" and "Python" have both had their own movies so, this time both of them meet in the battlefield. For a giant monster movie they get quite little screen time though. Most of the action time is spent on watching some braindead characters getting eaten (usually off screen due the budget constraints). The snakes are made with cheap CGI à la "Anaconda." There is even a CGI subway station! Many scenes feature girls with or without bikinis. The deadpan actors deliver absurd one-liners. The dialogue has moments that are so stupid that it is fun. 

Boa vs. Eve

In the beginning there is a wrestling match with wrestlers Boa and Python. The outcome of the match symbolizes the result of the giant snake battle. There is also some "deep social criticism" with pokes directed at sensational press, expensive bottle water, big game hunting and snake phobia. This is a Syfy-distributed movie that is a bit too self-conscious trash movie. Phillip J. Roth was one of the producers (for some of his highlights see "Hyper Sonic" and "Dragon Fighter"). Someone has called this movie a rip-off of "Alien vs. Predator" (why not "Freddy vs. Jason" or "King Kong Vs. Godzilla") but the comparison would give it too much credit (!). The DVD cover has a spectacular image of helicopter firing missiles at the snakes. Not going to happen.

Rating: So bad it is good 

Starring: David Hewlett, Jaime Bergman, Kirk B.R. Woller, Adamo Palladino (as Adam Kendrick), Angel Boris Reed, Marianne Stanicheva, Griff Furst, Ivo Naidenov, George R. Sheffey, Atanas Srebrev, Harry Anichkin, Jeff Rank, Assen Blatechki, Velizar Binev, Jonas Talkington, Nikolai Sotirov, Ryan Spike Dauner, Dessi Morales, John Hansson, Uti Bachvarov, Edward McDermott, D.J. Johnson, John Klimas, Andres Rojas, Michelle Llorens, Shero Rauf 

Director: David Flores