Movie Review: Superfast!

Superfast!
3 in the Box, The Safran Company, USA, 2015.

Another so called parody from Friedberg/Seltzer.
Very bad.
...
...
...
Maybe I should watch the movie first. 

Lucas White (Alex Ashbaugh) is a white (duh) cop who tries to infiltrate multi-culti street racer gang. Their leader is Vin Serento (Dale Pavinski) with pretty sister Jordana (Lili Mirojnick). Other members are jealous Curtis (Daniel Booko) and not-so-unobviously lesbian Michelle (Andrea Navedo). Against all odds Lucas gains their trust. Crime lord Juan Carlos de la Sol (Omar Chaparro) sets them up and during a shoot-out Lucas accidentally shoots his boss Detective Hanover (Gonzalo Menendez), oops. Vin and the gang plan revenge by robbing crime lord's money. Incredibly stupid Detective Rock Johnson (Dio Johnson) tries to catch the gang but is too busy rubbing baby oil on his muscles.

Lucas White

Vin, Michelle Curtis and Jordana

Cesar and Senor de la Sol

"Fast and the Furious" series has grown to such self-parody nowadays that spoofing it is kind of wasted effort. The nonessential plot is modeled from FF parts one and five. There is something funny in the way the stock characters are named as Rapper Cameo, Model Turned Actress and Cool Asian Guy. Also the main gang looked a lot like the originals and Rock-parody was quite fun. Otherwise the jokes were either recycled from better parodies, overlong and unfunny or just gross-out. On the positive side the z-grade celebrity jokes were kept at minimum and the story kept the focus of the parody in one film series. However cheap pop-culture references and pseudo-commercial jokes that are obscure to everyone but Americans are still there. This is not a good movie but considering the cinematic atrocities FriedChicken/AlkaSeltzer duo has put out ("Meet the Spartans" "Epic Movie", "Disaster Movie"...) this is a step to right direction. Maybe the lowest point of parody genre has been reached already. But it is still a thousand mile trip back up.

Rock Johnson

Rapper Cameo (Rogelio Douglas Jr.)

Rating:Bad

Starring: Alex Ashbaugh, Dale Pavinski, Lili Mirojnick, Andrea Navedo, Daniel Booko, Rogelio Douglas Jr., Chris Pang, Omar Chaparro, Joseph Julian Soria, Dio Johnson, Amin Joseph, Cuete Yeska, Gonzalo Menendez, Shantel Wislawski, Luis Chávez, DaJuan Johnson, Alexis Lopez, William Barney, Shakira Barrera, Eric Mccoy, Dres Reid, Christine Clayburg, Chanel Celaya, Mickey Friedberg, Nick Rey Angelus, Chris Trouble Delfosse, Michael Flores, Anthony Martins, Shad Roberts, Rick Silver, Kenny Yates
Directors: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Movie Review: All About the Benjamins

All About the Benjamins a.k.a All About the Money a.k.a Good Boys

Cube Vision, New Line Cinema,  Flipside Entertainment, Linovo Productions GmbH & Co. KG, USA, 2002.

Bucum (Ice Cube) is a bounty hunter. His boss Martinez (Anthony Giaimo) assigns Bucum to arrest small-time con man Reggie Wright (Mike Epps) who is avoiding the trial. Bucum dreams about big money and so does Reggie. Reggie is slippery as eel so arresting him is hard.

Bucum

Reggie

Violent robbers Ramose (Roger Guenveur Smith), Ursula (Carmen Chaplin) and Williamson (scar-faced "Sons of Anarchy" actor Tommy Flanagan) have planned a diamond heist. While Bucum chases Reggie, Reggie hides in the robbers' van. So he is the eyewitness and the bad guys want him dead. Reggie and his wife Gina win Lottery, but unfortunately Reggie dropped his walled when he escaped the criminals. So involuntarily Reggie talks Bucum to help him get the lotto ticket back. Bucum does not buy the story, but gets interested in busting the diamond bandits. To keep their manly macho men in reigns, Gina and Bucum's colleague Pam (Valarie Rae Miller) offer some backup.

Ramose

Williamson

Ice, ice, baby

"AATB" is a "Bad Boys" style action comedy but in B-film attitude with more streetwise dialogue (contains language) that wouldn't go through on a bigger budget Hollywood-films. The plot mixes hard-boiled and occasionally quite cruel action and mismatched-pair buddy comedy. Although the beginning is a bit meh, it gets better when the main story gets going. Ice Cube's gangsta style contrasts the hokum-talking swindler character of Mike Epps. Mike Epps' jokes seemed quite forced in the early scenes but the comedy with Cube worked. The soundtrack contains rap and because the story is set in Miami also some easy-going Latino rhythms. It is uneven but still watchable and often hilarious crime comedy but not for anyone's taste.

Pam and Gina

Rating: Good

Starring: Ice Cube, Mike Epps, Tommy Flanagan, Carmen Chaplin, Eva Mendes, Valarie Rae Miller, Anthony Giaimo, Jeff Chase, Roger Guenveur Smith, Gino Salvano, Tony Ward, Dominic Chianese Jr., Anthony Michael Hall, Antoni Corone, Bob Carter, Evelyn Brooks, Joan Turner, Julianne Beres, Shad Moss (as Lil Bow Wow), Robert MacBeth, Barbara Barron, Oscar Isaac, Jodi Lyn Brockton, Allen Choate, Marianna Astakhova, Kevin Bray
Director: Kevin Bray

Movie Review: The Clown: Payday

The Clown: Payday (Der Clown - Tag der Vergeltung)

Action Concept Film- und Stuntproduktion, Germany, 2005. 

Der Clown was a action-packed German TV-series near the turn of the Millennium. The movie continues the story four years after the series ended. 

Max Zander (Sven Martinek) was a cop who became vigilante hero the Clown when criminals killed his friend. He had friends Dobbs (Thomas Anzenhofer) and Claudia (Diana Frank) to help him in the fight against crime. After the series Claudia was murdered and the Clown has gone underground working as a mall guard. 

Max Zander

Der Clown

Claudia's reporter sister Leah (Eva Habermann) got a hot tip about armored van robbery. She is taken hostage, so Max must stop glooming (that's enough for the character development) and go back to action with his pilot-friend Dobbs. But it's a trap as supercriminal Zorbek (Götz Otto) wants to eliminate the Clown before making the robbery of the century. Also old nemesis Commissioner Führmann (Andreas Schmidt-Schaller) wants to arrest the Clown for obstructing police work, causing general mayhem and jaywalking.

Leah

Mona (Xenia Seeberg) and Zorbek

Big budget Euro action film uses tricks learnt from Hollywood but maintaining the style of German krimi series. Comic book action is combined with joking remarks, it is all silly but fun check out your brain entertainment. The plot is simple, heroes against the bad guys. This is a B-movie with A-movie budget and the stunts have taken most of the money. A decent amount of vehicles and airplanes are wrecked in award winning stunts with big explosions made with real effects. The Clown's team always sticks together (BFFs!) contrasting Zorbek's team who are always backstabbing their own team-members. Sven Martinek has rugged Teutonic charisma with Thomas Anzenhofer as his trusty sidekick and of the bad guys Xenia Seeberg (Sven's ex-girlfriend) steals the show as deadly vamp.

Synthpop song from the movie: Wolfsheim: Kein Zurück.

Rating: Good

Starring: Sven Martinek, Thomas Anzenhofer, Eva Habermann, Götz Otto, Andreas Schmidt-Schaller, Xaver Hutter, Xenia Seeberg, Dirk Heinrichs, Martin Brambach, Patrice Bouédibéla, Horst Sachtleben, Oscar Ortega Sánchez, Bernhard Hoëcker, Thomas Born, Claudia Mehnert, Stefan Gebelhoff, Frank-Leo Schröder, Crisjan Zöllner, Stefan Richter, André Hartkopf, Stefan Weinert, Karoline Heinrich, Christian Beuter, Diana Frank, Paul Henning Gödderz, Pat Murphy
Directors: Sebastian Vigg, Roland Leyer

Movie Review: Harvard Man a.k.a Harvard Story

Harvard Man  a.k.a Harvard Story
Bigel / Mailer Films, Kushner-Locke Company, Lions Gate Films, Worldwide Media, USA, 2001.

Harvard-student Alan Jensen (Adrian Grenier) is a rising basketball star and smart student although you wouldn't believe it from his actions. Girlfriend Cindy Bandolini's (Sarah Michelle Gellar) dad (Gianni Russo) is a mafia boss. Tornado destroys Alan's parents' home and causes economical distress so Alan has to find some money fast. 

Alan Jensen

Chesney Cort

Alan has also an affair with philosophy professor Chesney Cort (Joey Lauren Adams). As a hobby Alan tries to expand his consciousness with drugs (you can say goodbye to NBA career, bro). Chesney suggest that Alan should borrow money from Cindy. Andrew Bandolini is into sports betting so he'll give the money if Alan agrees to illegal match fixing. Cindy tries to take advantage of the scheme and bets $250000. So the stakes are high and hitmen will act if Alan goofs up.

The Bandolinis

Marcus

Before the crucial match Alan gets high (seriously what is the obsession of American's with weed? You are raising a nation of Cheech & Chongs). Harvard team loses the match as Alan agreed with Bandolinis. Player friend Marcus (NBA-star Ray Allen) doesn't take the loss lightly but their small quarrel does not really have consequences. Also kinky FBI-agents are investigating match fixing. So when going gets tough Alan gets a high dose of LSD. Chesney warns that he'll lose his mind, but does he listen, oh no. Even chemist Sandy (Chantal Cousineau) who made him the drugs warns about taking too much of it. And so he spends the rest of the story tripping, while others try to figure out how to clean up the mess. 

Sandy

Eric Stoltz as Teddy

Cindy and Kelly negotiating

Frankly I got this movie because there was Sarah Michelle Gellar on the cover but I was surprised that there were also some other familiar faces in the cast: Eric Stoltz as Teddy the Bookie, Rebecca Gayheart as FBI agent Kelly and John Neville as Dr. Reese. Their presence does not help much though as nearly all the characters are unlikable. The story has the characteristics of university themed erotic crime thrillers of 1990s-early 2000s with poor man's "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" thrown in the mix. This is the kind of film that makes one appreciate "Wild Things" and "Cruel Intentions." The story tries to be smarter than it is with classical music and philosophy. Jerky cinematography feels disorienting and camera rotates like mad. This one earns an artistic facepalm.

Rating: Bad

Starring: Adrian Grenier, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Joey Lauren Adams, Eric Stoltz, Rebecca Gayheart, Gianni Russo, Ray Allen, Mike Vetere, Scottie, John Neville, Polly Shannon, Phillip Jarrett, Adam Bloch, Lauren Collis, Landy Cannon, Clé Bennett, Chantal Cousineau, Maria Ricossa, Booth Savage, Mung-Ling Tsui, Brendan Ryder, Kelly Ryder, Kristi Angus, Tara Samuel, Ayanna Sealey, Jamie Holmes, Al Franken, Thomasin Franken, Peter Mensah, Joe Pingue, J. Miles Dale, Nick Bacon, Kate Crowley,  Kimberly Pullis, Brian Schulz, Chris Wolfe, Lyssa J. Caster, Rick Ducommun, David Lauren, Nicholas Marino, Manajhjanihe Royalle, Michael Sercerchi, Emily Van Sonnenberg, Kasia Vassos
Director: James Toback

Movie Review: Windfall (2003)

Windfall (2003)
American Cinema International, Media Pro Pictures, Nu Image / Millennium Films, USA, Romania, 2003. 

Mr. Wescott (Ray Wise) opens Casino Royale in South Carolina. Scratch (Robert Englund) and Ace Logan (Casper Van Dien) try to rob the casino but security chief Bill Trask (Gregg Henry) foils their plan. After a furious chase the boys get caught. However they avoid prison by agreeing to work for Mr. Wescott as casino guards although Trask and assistant Amber Malley (Libby Hudson Lydecker) express their disagreement about the deal. Ace and Scratch, a little bit criminals but good men.

Ace

Scratch

Mr. Wescott

Hurricane Brenda is approaching the island where the casino is located. Meteorologists John (Jeff Celentano) and Melanie (Brenda Epperson) try to warn. Meanwhile Trask is stealing money from Wescott, and his gang tries to get rid of Ace and Amber who are becoming close. Trask plans to rob the casino during the storm. Not going to happen if Ace, Scratch and Amber have their say. 

Amber

Trask

Melanie and John

Direct to video action thriller / disaster movie hybrid has some familiar faces, there is Laura Palmer's dad, Freddy Krueger, Casper Van Dien himself and Gregg Henry, known for numerous movies and TV-series. Also the henchmen are commonly visitors in TV-shows. The story has the style of 1990s action thrillers. This seems to be a quite little known film although it is far from being Casper Van Dien's worst. Make no mistake, it has a silly script, some questionable acting and obvious goofs are plentiful. Night turns into a day in just five minutes et cetera. But it is dumb and fun, a slightly positive surprise as I wasn't expecting much. It is still better than, let's say, most Steven Seagal's East-European productions. There are some nice chase scenes too. Ray Wise has the best role as a benevolent casino owner. Robert Englund is underused but has some fun scenes. Van Dien is playing the same hero role as always. Gregg Henry imitates Gary Busey's villains. 

Rating: Good (as a direct to video movie)

Starring: Casper Van Dien, Gregg Henry, Libby Hudson Lydecker, Robert Englund, Ray Wise, Cyril O'Reilly, Daniel Roebuck, Jeremy Roberts, Jeff Kober, Florin Tanase, Paul Andreescu, Kristin Herold, Brenda Epperson, Jeff Celentano, Adrian Codrescu, Ion Cavase, Marian Vasile, Andi Marian, Corina Danila, Plavitiu George, Ion Constantinescu, Ted Pretty, Loredana Groza, Adrian Pavlovschi 

Director: Gerry Lively

The Darlin' Dallasers Blogathon Special: Oscar (1991)

Oscar (1991)
Joseph S. Vecchio Entertainment, Silver Screen Partners IV, Touchstone Pictures, USA, 1991.

This is my contribution to the 'My Darlin’ Dallasers Blogathon 2016' hosted by Gill Jacob at weegiemidget.wordpress.com . Check her blog on September 21-23 for more movie reviews starring cast members or the original "Dallas." The blogathon event is scheduled to celebrate the birthdays of Linda 'Sue Ellen' Gray (September 12) and Larry 'J.R.' Hagman (would have been on September 21).

In the Great Depression era New York City gangster boss Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone (Sylvester Stallone) promises his dying father (Kirk Douglas) that he will abandon the life of crime. He will try to pursue career as a banker. However his henchmen Aldo (Peter Riegert) and Connie (Chazz Palminteri) find it difficult to get accustomed to their new roles as honourable businessmen. Also Lieutenant Toomey (Kurtwood Smith) thinks that Angelo is plotting something and spies on him to get evidence of possible illegal activities. 

Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone

Angelo's accountant Anthony Rossano (Vincent Spano) is getting married and comes to meet Angelo. The problem is that it is Angelo's daughter whom Anthony wants to marry. Angelo's daughter Lisa (Marisa Tomei) fakes being pregnant because she wants to move to her own house and see the world. Angelo is furious to Lisa and Anthony but the situation is not so simple. A girl named Theresa (Elizabeth Barondes) lied about being Angelo's daughter so that Anthony would be interested in her so it is Theresa whom Anthony wants to marry.

Anthony

Lisa

Theresa

When Angelo hears about that he decides to trick Anthony because Anthony also stole money from him. But who is the "father" of Lisa's baby? The blame's on Oscar (Jim Mulholland), the former chauffeur of Provalones. As Oscar has moved out of the country, Angelo's wife Sofia (Ornella Muti) forces Angelo to find a new husband for Lisa. As if it would not be complicated enough we need some identical looking black bags to muddle the plot further. 

Connie

The Finucci Brothers

Dr. Poole

Amusing scheming and misunderstandings follow.

John Landis directed the remake of the French comedy "Oscar" starring Louis de Funès. The original film itself was based on the play by Claude Magnier. The stage play roots limit the action to Provolone's house and the building across the street. This film and "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot" were efforts to steer Stallone's career to more softer and comical direction, but as both of those movies were commercial disasters he soon returned to the action genre. Surely it is different from other Stallone film's of the era (he doesn't shoot here anyone) but Rocky movies and Stallone's buddy cop movies have always had some humour in them so having Stallone star a comedy film was not so far-fetched idea as the three Razzie Awards awarded to this film would make us believe. The movie was very underrated when it was released, but later it has gained many fans . Stallone is funny and manages to make fun of his tough guy image. What is nice is the rhythm and convoluted wittiness of classic screwball-comedies. It is good clean fun and it is kind of sad these kind of comedies are so rare nowadays. 

The film has various familiar faces from gangster films and various TV shows appearing in small roles. Including Stallone there are several amusing characters: flamboyant jazz girl Lisa, tailors the Finucci Brothers (Harry Shearer and Martin Ferrero), English teacher Dr. Poole (Tim Curry) and goofy henchmen (Riegert, Palmintieri, Paul Greco and Richard Foronjy). And a brief visit of Kai Wulff (who has played a fair share of German villains in TV series and movies) as a chauffeur. The Dallaser of the film appears at a crucial point of the story to help solving the mess the main characters have gotten into. So we are introduced to Linda Gray as Roxanne, old flame of Snaps. In "Dallas" she was Sue Ellen Ewing, oil baron J.R. Ewing's wife, so it is only proper that she should appear here as the old love of Mr. Big. As the plot is getting dense at this point she functions as unbeknowing Deus ex machina for the story. Linda Gray's role is quite small but her appearance causes Angelo to have an emotional and nostalgic response and prepares the way for the happy ending. 

Linda Gray as Roxanne

Rating: Very good

Starring: Peter Riegert, Chazz Palminteri, Joey Travolta, Paul Greco, Sylvester Stallone, Richard Foronjy, Yvonne De Carlo, Don Ameche, Richard Romanus, Arleen Sorkin, Eddie Bracken, Tony Munafo, Robert Lesser, Art LaFleur, Kurtwood Smith, Vincent Spano, Joycelyn O'Brien, Marisa Tomei, Martin Ferrero, Harry Shearer, William Atherton, Mark Metcalf, Ken Howard, Sam Chew Jr., Elizabeth Barondes, Ornella Muti, Sal Vecchio, Tim Curry, Danny Goldstine, Kai Wulff, Linda Gray, Marshall Bell, Tom Grant, Louis D'Alto, Rick Avery, Jim Mulholland, Joe Dante, Jim Abrahams, Sam Bauso, Leesa Castaneda, Kirk Douglas, Tino Insana, Polli Magaro, Sal Mazzotta, Ralph Moratz
Director: John Landis