Movie Review: Lake Placid vs Anaconda

Lake Placid vs Anaconda
Curmudgeon Films, Syfy, UFO Films, USA, Bulgaria, 2015. 

Two monster reptiles from the namesake franchises clash in the death match.

Jim Bickerman (Robert Englund), who barely survived the previous sequels of "Lake Placid", helps shady scientists capture giant crocodile from Black Lake for their illegal genetic engineering project involving anacondas. The reptiles destroy the mobile laboratory and escape. Jim, security guy Beach (Stephen Billington) and couple of the scientists survive.

Jim Bickerman

Snake in a can

Beach reports back to the company's evil CEO Sarah Murdoch (Annabel Wright) who decides to get the anacondas back no matter the cost. Meanwhile Game Warden Will Tull (Corin Nemec) and Sheriff Reba (Yancy Butler) start to investigate the strange disappearances of the local folks. Tull's daughter Bethany (Skye Lourie) and other college girls travel to Clear Lake. In Clear Lake there are no crocodiles. Or that's what they think.

Will Tull

Reba

Murdoch and Beach

So the crocs start to chomp local rednecks and the girls in bikinis (tops optional), and then the giant snakes arrive to finish the meal. Can Tull save his daughter before it is too late?

Bethany (Skye Lourie) and Margo (Ali Eagle)

Amber (Sophia Lorenti) and Tiffani (Laura Dale)

Melissa (Jenny May Darcy) and Heather (Carolina Bratanova)

Syfy's horror comedy goes the usual route. Some of the jokes are dumb and fun, some miss their mark. The plus side is using the characters from the the previous films to bring some continuity (although I am more familiar with the Anaconda series than the Lake Placid series). Of the characters most are usual stock characters, some of the funniest characters are sarcastic goth Margo (Ali Eagle), and sorority leader Tiffani (Laura Dale), such a nasty woman. What is slightly disappointing is that it is more of a killer croc movie and the anacondas are almost having cameo roles. It brings nothing new to the genre but sometimes it is enough to have some cheap semi-campy monster mayhem with hot girls so in that sense the movie delivers what it promises.

Rating: Good (as a B-monster film) orBad (as a regular film)

Starring: Corin Nemec, Yancy Butler, Skye Lourie, Robert Englund, Annabel Wright, Oliver Walker, Laura Dale, Ali Eagle, Georgina Philipps, Heather Gilbert, Jenny May Darcy, Nigel Barber, Kalina Stoimenova, Carolina Bratanova, Sophia Lorenti, Vanessa Dimitrova, Deni Tsvetkova, Luke Dinchev, Anton Poriazov, David Roth, Adara Stone, Derek Morse, Velislav Pavlov, Nikolay Bakalov, Jason Small, Isaac Haig, Natasha Jane Pyne, Stephen Billington

Director: A.B. Stone

Movie Review: Attack of the Sabretooth

Attack of the Sabretooth

Sci Fi Pictures, Film Brokers International, Wood Canyon Ventures, USA, 2005.

Guard Sakeasi (Natani Talemaitoga) goes inside the restricted area to pick-up a detached page from his adult magazine. Sabre-toothed cat eats him. By the way the flight of the detached page is CGI-animated. Niles Green (Nicholas Bell) and his partner  Alan (Nathaniel Kiwi) are having a meeting for investors interested in Primal Park including Niles' brother-in-law Grant (Robert Carradine). The park is testing genetic technology and cloning of extinct animals.

Sakeasi and his favourite literature

Alan and Niles

Grant

Group of students arrive to scavenger hunt. They must find items so that they can join their fraternity/sorority. Usual team of idiot jock Kirk (Billy Aaron Brown), goth girl Collette (Natalie Avital), hacker boy Robbie (Parry Shen), smart girl Alys (Cleopatra Coleman) and bimbo Alaina (Amanda Stephens). Security guards Savannah (Stacy Haiduk) and Sachariah (Rawiri Paratene) notice that  Sabre-toothed cats are missing. Meanwhile the stupid teens young geniuses search for items on the scavenger list and break into the research lab disabling the security systems. 

Savannah, Alan and Sachariah

The students: Robbie, Alaina, Kirk, Collette and Alys

Alaina, Collette and Alys

More people get eaten, the cats sure are hungry! They have Predator's heat vision.  However they tamely return to their cages when called (?) Savannah and her boyfriend Brian (Brian Wimmer) have a relationship crisis because Brian hears that Savannah's boyfriends always die in freak accidents. The surviving teens and the security guards team up to kill the cats. There is also a big mutant cat that moves slower than a bureaucrat.

Brian

Sabre-toothed cat

Dumb "Jurassic Park" ripoff with silly plot and horrible CGI effects. Absurd death scenes are gorier than in usual Syfy-flicks. The dialogue is hilariously awful. There are some attempts to add dark humour but it really does not work quite well. People get eaten but no one cares or even notices. It almost makes it to the so bad it is good- territory, but not quite. The director George Miller (not the "Mad Max" Miller) actually directed some good movies "The Man from Snowy River" and "NeverEnding Story II" but ended his career with this schlock film. The students by the way did not find all the items on the list.

Nice Fiji location shots though. What I learned from the movie:

Rating: Bad 

Starring: Robert Carradine, Nicholas Bell, Brian Wimmer, Stacy Haiduk, Rawiri Paratene, Susanne Sutchy, Cleopatra Coleman, Amanda Stephens, Natalie Avital, Billy Aaron Brown, Parry Shen, Nathaniel Kiwi, Bonnie Piesse, Natani Talemaitoga, Paula Dakini 

Director: George Miller