Movie Review: The Impossible Kid

The Impossible Kid a.k.a The Impossible Kid of Kung Fu

Liliw Films International, Philippines, 1982.

This movie can be found in Martial Arts 50 Movie Pack by Mill Creek Entertainment.

Agent 00 (Weng Weng) is now an Interpol agent with a new chief (Ben Johnson, no not the sprinter). He catches a hitman and saves hostages, chases a truck and rescues a kidnapped businessman. All in the first eight minutes. Weng's boss apperas always when he is flirting with the local Moneypenny (Chicklet Moreno). Wicked terrorists are kidnapping wealthy industrialists. Always laughing Senyor Manolo (Romy Diaz) wants protection from Interpol. However he just mocks the tiny agent until 00 beats up some of Manolo's bodyguards.That'll teach them.

Agent 00, Interpol.

Interpol's secretary (Chicklet Moreno)

The Chief

Terrorist chief wearing a Klan mask with a Cobra logo demands a ransom on one billion pesos or they will kidnap the industrialists and destroy the factories. Agent 00 tries to find out who the Terrorist leader is and fights enemies in backyards, karate dojos and cheap hotels (where he usually meets naked women). Whenever goons are arrested, they always get murdered before they can reveal the identity of the terrorists. The secret identity of the Cobra boss gives the story a mystery element although it is not difficult to guess who it is.

Manolo

Cobra leader

Karate!

After "For Y'ur Height Only" you would think to have seen all the tricks of midget spy flicks. However the absurdity reaches new heights. What the sequel loses in originality it more than takes back with the weirdness. Now 00 uses less gadgets but the mini-motorcycle more than balances it. The scene where he jumps with his motorcycle over the ravine must be seen to be believed. In the English dub Weng now has a deeper voice instead of squeakier voice that he had before and it gives an hilariously mismatched impression. Whereas in the prequel he worked mainly alone now he acts more in teams. The story has a better structure now and avoids the weird continuation problems of the prequel. The incidental music copies shamelessly the Pink Panther theme but overall the music is better now. Now Agent 00 has his own theme song "Impossible Kid" sung by Ruby (Tokem) Tia :"I love my Weng Weng!"

Whereas in the previous film nobody saw anything strange about a fire extinguisher sized secret agent, here he is often mistaken for a kid. The jokes feel less politically correct as more fun is made of midgets. In some action scenes the bad guys even practice midget tossing. However that does not much bother Weng, he is as cool and badass as before and kicks butt as before. This is silly and cheap but great fun when watched in right mindset.

Ruben Ramos who was a minor boss Jack in the previous film returns as henchman Abdul. Bond- Weng-girl is played by Nina Sara.

Abdul

Lolita

Rating: Either Very Good orSo bad it is good

Starring: Weng Weng, Romy Diaz, Nina Sara, Tony Carreon, Ben Johnson, Rene Romero, Efren Lapid, Lita Vasquez, Chicklet Moreno, Ruben Ramos, Joe Cunanan, Romy Nario, Ben Morro, Boy Bañes, Renato Morado, Rolly Esteban, Vangie Evangelista, Amor Siron, Avel Morado, Jessie Lee, Jess Ramo, Jose Dura, Nini Dela Rama, Jimmy Milallos, Alma Siron, Barbara Manipol, Ailice Siron, Gina Samonte, Irene Robles, George Gyenes, Lee Scott, David Anderson, Neils Elcehorn, Jack Holltz, James Crumrine, Fred Esplana, Jay Grama, Erning Reyes, Roland Falcis, Eddie Samonte, Rey Abella, Lito Navarro, Gil Bandong, Joe Andrade, Jess Bonzo, Joe Estrada, Roger Santos, Remy Nocum, Ernie Gubaton, Mando Manarang, Tony Bongat, Ramon Tiangco, Jimy Custodio, Mike Manarang, Triumpo Garces, Rodrigo Faculto, Rey Garces, SOS Daredevils
Director: Eddie Nicart

Movie Review: For Y'ur Height Only

For Y'ur Height Only a.k.a For Your Height Only 

Liliw Films International, Philippines, 1981.

As ...noir has arrived to "For Your Eyes Only" in his James Bond Marathon (texts in Finnish) let's check also something similar but still quite different produced in the same year.

In 1981 Imelda Marcos wanted to host an international film festival. In Manila International Film Festival she planned to showcase the best and most artistic Filipino movies. The foreign movies shown in the festival were for example critically acclaimed "Gallipoli", "The French Lieutenant's Woman" and "Body Heat." Of the Filipino films, however, what got most of the attention was a cheaply made midget spy film starring 2' 9" tall martial artist Weng Weng. The construction of the film center itself was a disaster of an incredible scale causing the death of several building  workers and caused a scandal later.

I can only guess that the producers got the idea after watching "The Man With the Golden Gun" and thinking what it would be like to make a James Bond knock-off with Nick Nack as the hero. In Philippines other James Bond imitations were produced too: "G-2",  that started a series of sixteen Agent X44-films and "James Bone Agent 001." Without the unique main character "For Y'ur Height Only" would have been one of the many forgettable Bond-clones. Weng Weng became a mascot of Philippines and he was made into an honourary Secret Agent. Sadly his fame was short-lived, his working conditions were poor and he died in poverty in 1992.  There is an interesting documentary made in 2007 about his life and movies, "The Search for Weng Weng." More about it later. 

Professor Kohler (Mike Cohen) travels to Manila and is instantly kidnapped by Mr. Giant. Mr. Giant wants the plans for the N-Bomb. Weng or Agent 00 (Weng Weng) working for the Forces of Good has to interrupt chilling with bikini babes and start doing what he is paid for. By coincidence Weng saves Lola (Yehlen Catral) whom the baddies (they even call themselves baddies) want dead. Weng and Lola go after crime lord Columbus (Max Alvarado) who looks like Asian Harvey Keitel. After Lola's problems are solved and a bald headed goon is dead Weng continues adventures with undercover agent Irma (Beth Sandoval) who has infiltrated Columbus' gang. I presume that the bald guy was a character named Jack performed by Ruben Ramos as in the sequel "The Impossible Kid" he was performing a role of bald-headed goon named Abdul. Oddly it looks as if some reels are in wrong order as Jack's death is referenced much later.

Agent 00

Professor Kohler

Lola

00 gets useful gadgets from his boss (Tony Ferrer): a medallion with walkie-talkie, a ring for detecting poison, dart shooting pen, belt buckle with cutting tools and X-ray glasses for seeing under women's clothes. The gadgets are similar to Bond's usual equipment but there are also gadgets inspired by Rosa Klebb's knife-shoe and Oddjob's hat with a remote control.

Irma

Jetpack!

Columbus

The loose plot follows Agent 00's adventures as he infiltrates strongholds (this being easy as he is so small), kicks bad guys in the groin and charms pretty ladies just like his bigger colleague. He is just as deadly too with body count higher than in most Bond films. The film spawned at least one sequel "The Impossible Kid." There is probably also a third film "Agent 00" but Weng Weng's filmography is full of lost and obscure films. The trailer hints that there may have been a prequel also.

Romance!

Overall the continuity is bad making the plot almost non-essential. The fun comes from the mischievous little hero going to different places, fighting hordes of bad guys doing crazy stunts and shyly flirting with ladies. His trademark move is sliding across the floor and shooting. Sometimes he is coy and playful, sometimes he is a stone-cold killer. The action scenes are surprisingly deadpan low-budget Asian action film style shoot-outs. The English dub is hilarious to listen to with weird dubbing and many absurd lines. The punny title references to "For Your Eyes Only" that was released in the same year, but mostly the plot is kind of pastische of Bond-tropes and of course the soundtrack has Bond-like music cues. This can be classified as a parody but it mainly relies on the silly setting without going overboard with jokes. Surprisingly most characters just ignore Weng Weng's height and he uses his size as his advantage, he can hide easily and a small target is harder to hit. It is like Roger Moore- era Bonds, with tongue-in cheek humour but also with more serious spy-action (albeit campy and cheaply made). This is about as fun as Filipino midgetsploitation can get: cool, absurd, and wild.

Rating: Either Very Good orSo bad it is good

Starring: Weng Weng, Yehlen Catral, Carmi Martin, Anna Marie Gutierrez, Beth Sandoval, Max Alvarado, Mike Cohen, Tony Ferrer, Jim Gaines, Rodolfo 'Boy' Garcia, Romy Nario, Ruben Ramos 

Director: Eddie Nicart

Movie Review: Spectre

Spectre a.k.a James Bond: Spectre a.k.a 007 Spectre a.k.a Bond 24
B24, Columbia Pictures, Danjaq, Eon Productions, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Sony UK, USA, 2015.

James Bond (Daniel Craig) goes to Mexico with his own mission to find out the answers that were left open in the previous films. New M (Ralph Fiennes) is not happy and grounds him from the operations. The security agencies are merging and C (Andrew Scott) wants to end the 00 program. Secret agents are so old school, drones and mass surveillance are the hottest hot. James asks Miss Moneypenny (Naomie Harris) and Q (Ben Whishaw) to help him. 

James Bond is back

M

Bond's investigations lead him to tracks of criminal organization Spectre and its ruthless leader (Christoph Waltz). Brutish assassin Mr. Hinx (Dave Bautista) is always one step behind Bond. The past haunts Bond. Along comes psychiatrist Madeleine Swann (Léa Seydoux) who may understand him better than any other woman before.

Mr. Hinx

Madeleine Swann

Mysterious Spectre leader

Daniel Craig's latest Bond completes the Spectre cycle that has been foreshadowed in the previous movies. It is hard to find many reasons why it would be any worse than the previous Craig-Bonds. Still the ulterior motives of the Big Bad felt a bit forced. Dave Bautista's laconic henchman has brutal energy and offers a good challenge to Bond. The story is a tad lighter than in the previous Skyfall and Roger Moore style humour returns in some chase scenes. Like always Bond travels around the world searching for clues and the sceneries are nice. Of the Bond girls Monica Bellucciand Léa Seydoux the latter becomes an important for defining the modern Bond character. It will be interesting to see how the saga continues with or without Craig.

Rating: Very good 

Starring: Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux, Ralph Fiennes, Monica Bellucci, Ben Whishaw, Naomie Harris, Dave Bautista, Andrew Scott, Rory Kinnear, Jesper Christensen, Alessandro Cremona, Stephanie Sigman, Tenoch Huerta, Adriana Paz, Domenico Fortunato, Marco Zingaro, Stefano Elfi DiClaudia, Ian Bonar, Tam Williams, Richard Banham, Pip Carter, Simon Lenagan, Alessandro Bressanello, Marc Zinga, Brigitte Millar, Adel Bencherif, Gediminas Adomaitis, Peppe Lanzetta, Francesco Arca, Matteo Taranto, Emilio Aniba, Benito Sagredo, Dai Tabuchi, George Lasha, Sargon Yelda, Andy Cheung, Erick Hayden, Oleg Mirochnikov, Antonio Salines, Miloud Mourad Benamara, Gido Schimanski, Nigel Barber, Patrice Naiambana, Stephane Cornicard, Gary Fannin, Sadao Ueda, Phillip Law, Wai Wong, Joseph Balderrama, Eiji Mihara, Junichi Kajioka, Victor Schefé, Harald Windisch, Tristan Matthiae, Detlef Bothe, Bodo Friesecke, Wilhelm Iben, Noemi Krausz, Noah Saavedra, Francis Attakpah, Michael Glantschnig, Marlon Boess, Marie Fee Wohlmuth, Lili Epply, Konstantin Gerlach, Lara Parmiani, Umit Ulgen, Amra Mallassi, Ziad Abaza, Walid Mumuni, Derek Horsham, Nari Blair-Mangat, Michael White, Adam McGrady, Nader Dernaika, Pezh Maan 

Director: Sam Mendes

Book Review: A Kim Jong-Il Production

A Kim Jong-Il Production (Rakastettu Johtaja Ylpeänä Esittää)
by Paul Fischer
translated to Finnish by Aura Nurmi
Atena Kustannus, 2015.

This review is based on the Finnish hardback edition.

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il was a serious film buff who went seriously off the deep end. To please his father Kim Il-sung he started making a cult of personality around him with ordering production of heroic tales about North Korean heroes struggling against evil foreign capitalist dogs. Foreign countries were depicted as hell and it was always shining in North Korea. Kim Il-sung was depicted as mythical religious figure. State had full control of the citizens and no one else than Kim Jong-Il was allowed to watch foreign movies. To get films he ordered ambassadors to get him pirated copies of just about every film produced. He had a collection of about 20000 movies and his favourite films were James Bond films, "The First Blood" and "Friday the 13th."

The movies were made for propaganda purposes and for making the people work harder for the communist system. As the film makers in North Korea were rigorously controlled and punished severely for breaking the rules, the quality of North Korean movies was poor and the plots were repetitive and dull. In the 1970s Kim Jong-Il was running a huge organized crime and terrorist operations to get funds for his excessive lifestyle. With techniques learned from James Bond-films many people were kidnapped and forced to work in North Korea. In 1978 two South Korean film makers director/producer Shin Sang-ok and his actor ex-wife Choi Eun-hee were kidnapped by commandos and sent to North Korea. After attempts to indoctrinate them they were forced to make movies that would raise the quality of North Korean cinema.

Shin Sang-ok rebelled against the kidnapping and he tried to escape twice. As the result he was thrown into prison and tortured for years. Finally he decided to play along and act like a reformed man who has realised how awesome the Kims were. In reality he and Choi were always trying to find a way to escape.  Shin and Choi were given rather free hands to make movies. Although Shin's career had started strong he had angered the South Korean politicians mocking censorship and his career was over when the kidnapping occurred. Shin hid some critique against the North Korean system into his films but that went unnoticed because Kim Jong-Il liked the films. After making some critically acclaimed films, they were given lease to shoot films in East-European countries. Finally they made "so bad it is good" version of "Godzilla": "Pulgasari." Shin and Choi did not stay to see the film's success in North Korea as they had already escaped. Ironically the hardships took away some of Shin's egoistic characteristics and Shin and Choi found their love again. However Shin's career as director never fully recovered, the highlight being "3 Ninjas Knuckle Up."

In his book Paul Fischer gives a unique perspective of North Korea showing Kim Jong-Il's movie fanaticism as the main driving force of his internal politics. Kim is depicted as charismatic but capricious party animal who executes people at whim. Favoured persons are elevated and then destroyed when they fail Kim. Kim is compared of crazed movie producer or director who was using all the citizens as extras in Kim Jong-Il-show and North Korea as his stage. Those who do not fit their role are cut off. Keeping the borders closed and forcing the people believe absurd things Kim brainwashed the whole nation. The people are kept in dark while the party officials overindulge. However watching smuggled foreign movies is slowly eroding the people's faith in the North Korean system. Also the biographies of Shin Sang-ok and Choi Eun-hee are told in detail. The book is enjoyable reading, stylistically like combination of spy thriller and history. Fischer does a impressive job trying to separate the rumours from the facts.

Rating: Very good

Movie Review: The Cape Town Affair

The Cape Town Affair a.k.a. Escape Route Cape Town

Starring: James Brolin, Jacqueline Bisset, Claire Trevor, Bob Courtney, John Whiteley, Gordon Mulholland, Siegfried Mynhardt, James White, Gabriel Bayman, Raymond Matuson, Arthur Hall, Patrick Mynhardt, Tromp Terre'blanche 

Director: Robert D. Webb

Killarney Film Studios, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, South Africa, 1967.

This movie can be found in Fuel Injected Films 20 Movie Collection by Mill Creek Entertainment.

The story was written by Samuel Fuller, Harold Medford and Dwight Taylor. It was a remake of Fuller's 1953 film "Pickup on South Street."

Skip McCoy (James Brolin) is a pickpocket who steals Candy's (Jacqueline Bisset) wallet. In that wallet was a microfilm that was to be delivered forwards. However she does not know that her boyfriend Joey (John Whiteley) is selling top secret information to Communist spies. Captain Herrick (Bob Courtney) and Warrant Officer 'Donkey' Du Plessis (Gordon Mulholland) investigate.

Skip McCoy and Candy

Joey

'Donkey' Du Plessis

Flamboyant informant and tie-seller Sam Williams (Claire Trevor) gives the police a list of possible pickpockets. Hard-boiled McCoy refuses to give police any information. BTW Young James Brolin looks just like Christian Bale:

Sam Williams

Also Candy buys information from Sam. Candy goes to McCoy's shack and McCoy knocks her out in the dark. Romance builds up between the two! However McCoy suspects that Candy is only trying to use him and accuses her of being a Commie. Ugly truth about Joey is revealed to Candy. The police hatch a plot with Candy to catch the spy ring. Joey results to violent actions to get the microfilm. When Candy is injured, it is McCoy's job to make the pesky Commies pay.

Romance follows

The movie is slowly moving spy thriller. The movie has easy-going feel and never really gets very exciting. There are some murders and couple of fistfights but nothing much happens. It feels like an standard episode of some 1960s spy series. Claire Trevor steals the show in the scenes she's in. Although the movie is set in Cape Town, it could as well use any American city instead. For some reason some DVD covers show James Brolin with a beard (and often also older Jacqueline Bisset) .

Rating: Average

Movie Review: CIA: Exiled

CIA: Exiled a.k.a Curacao a.k.a. Deadly Currents 

Starring: George C. Scott, William Petersen, Julie Carmen, Alexei Sayle, Trish Van Devere, Maria Ellingsen, Philip Anglim, Dennis Lipscomb, Russell Milton, David Dunard, George Cheung, Larry Stewart, Larry Bucklan, Gilbert John Sparen, Orlando Cuales, Tony Lam, Roel Jungslager, Milton Kasdjo, Philip Rademaker, Susan Madison, Rudsel Jansen, Tonny Paidin, Ngatimin Karyodrono, Wirsat Dipotiko, Hebron Adoptie, Dennis Christopher 

Director: Carl Schultz 

Circling Curaçao, Jones Programming Partners, USA, Netherlands, 1993. 

This movie can be found in Fuel Injected Films 20 Movie Collection by Mill Creek Entertainment. 

Based on James D. Buchanan's novel "The Prince of Malta". 

Cargo ship The Prince of Malta explodes and sinks. Several years later Stephen Guerin (William Petersen) is a former CIA-operative who is stuck in small island of Curacao. His pal Cornelius Wettering (George C. Scott) is an eccentric bar keeper telling stories about sharks and scaring tourists. Stephen works as a petty official at the US embassy. 

Stephen Guerin

Cornelius Wettering

Terrorists rob a bank and take hostages including Cornelius. Cornelius shows his negotiating skills and also his combat skills. This makes him a local hero. Stephen has girlfriend Diana (Maria Ellingsen) who wants more from Stephen than he is willing to give. Stephen hates South African diplomats as it is still the Apartheid era. 

Bank robbery

Friedrich

Diana

South Africans with suave diplomat Friedrich (Dennis Christopher) and Dr. Seemuller (Alexei Sayle) want something from Stephen. Also CIA-agent Julia (Julie Carmen) is spying on Cornelius and nanny-sitting Stephen. A man from Cornelius' past named Joshua (Larry Stewart) is murdered. The story then involves smuggling, Chinese gangsters (Tony Lam and George Cheung), fraud and espionage. 

Joshua

Julia

Dr. Seemuller

The story opens up very slowly. It is quite hard to get a hang of what are the motivations and loyalties of the characters. Petersen and Scott land professional acting roles as two bored men haunted by their pasts. The style is kept quite realistic, so action is kept as minimum. The fans of spy flicks in the style of John Le Carre will probably enjoy the story. The story of this TV-movie is good but the production is not very special and lacks enthusiasm.

Harold Hsung and Worthy Hsung

Rating: Average