Movie Review: The Clown: Payday

The Clown: Payday (Der Clown - Tag der Vergeltung)

Action Concept Film- und Stuntproduktion, Germany, 2005. 

Der Clown was a action-packed German TV-series near the turn of the Millennium. The movie continues the story four years after the series ended. 

Max Zander (Sven Martinek) was a cop who became vigilante hero the Clown when criminals killed his friend. He had friends Dobbs (Thomas Anzenhofer) and Claudia (Diana Frank) to help him in the fight against crime. After the series Claudia was murdered and the Clown has gone underground working as a mall guard. 

Max Zander

Der Clown

Claudia's reporter sister Leah (Eva Habermann) got a hot tip about armored van robbery. She is taken hostage, so Max must stop glooming (that's enough for the character development) and go back to action with his pilot-friend Dobbs. But it's a trap as supercriminal Zorbek (Götz Otto) wants to eliminate the Clown before making the robbery of the century. Also old nemesis Commissioner Führmann (Andreas Schmidt-Schaller) wants to arrest the Clown for obstructing police work, causing general mayhem and jaywalking.

Leah

Mona (Xenia Seeberg) and Zorbek

Big budget Euro action film uses tricks learnt from Hollywood but maintaining the style of German krimi series. Comic book action is combined with joking remarks, it is all silly but fun check out your brain entertainment. The plot is simple, heroes against the bad guys. This is a B-movie with A-movie budget and the stunts have taken most of the money. A decent amount of vehicles and airplanes are wrecked in award winning stunts with big explosions made with real effects. The Clown's team always sticks together (BFFs!) contrasting Zorbek's team who are always backstabbing their own team-members. Sven Martinek has rugged Teutonic charisma with Thomas Anzenhofer as his trusty sidekick and of the bad guys Xenia Seeberg (Sven's ex-girlfriend) steals the show as deadly vamp.

Synthpop song from the movie: Wolfsheim: Kein Zurück.

Rating: Good

Starring: Sven Martinek, Thomas Anzenhofer, Eva Habermann, Götz Otto, Andreas Schmidt-Schaller, Xaver Hutter, Xenia Seeberg, Dirk Heinrichs, Martin Brambach, Patrice Bouédibéla, Horst Sachtleben, Oscar Ortega Sánchez, Bernhard Hoëcker, Thomas Born, Claudia Mehnert, Stefan Gebelhoff, Frank-Leo Schröder, Crisjan Zöllner, Stefan Richter, André Hartkopf, Stefan Weinert, Karoline Heinrich, Christian Beuter, Diana Frank, Paul Henning Gödderz, Pat Murphy
Directors: Sebastian Vigg, Roland Leyer

Movie Review: Militia

Militia a.k.a Undercover
Cinetel Films, USA, 2000.

Ethan Carter (Dean Cain) is an ATF-agent. ATF raids the compound of peacefully living gun nuts Brotherhood of Liberty. Taking out a small group of loonies with more firepower than in Vietnam seems a bright idea for Deputy Director Anderson (John Beck) who does not know the word overkill. Brotherhood leader William Fain's (Frederic Forrest) family dies in the massacre.

Ethan Carter

Anderson

William Fain

Two years later terrorists Staley (Christopher Maleki) & Tegley (James C. Victor) steal anthrax from Cyberdyne Systems (sic). Radio DJ Mad Monty (Stacy Keach) spews hatred and predicts a fascist revolution. Agents Carter and Julie Sanders (Jennifer Beals) must find the stolen bacteria but co-operation with the army is difficult as arrogant Major Wilson (Dean Hallo) is hostile to ATF-agents. Anderson orders Carter to infiltrate the New Brotherhood and there he needs help from Fain. Why does it seem like a bad idea on so many levels?

Mad Monty

Tegley and Staley

Julie Sanders

Carter's cover is blown too soon so Carter and his new best buddy Fain have to improvise. The terrorists plan to kill the President with anthrax-missiles. But what will Fain's final stance be?

This time Jim Wynorski loans footage from "Delta Force 2", "Terminator 2", "American Ninja 2" and "Rambo 2" (all from sequels?) Unlike "Stealth Fighter" it has a more serious feel and much less humour. Somehow positive aspect is that Fain is surprisingly ambiguous character and not totally a bad guy.

The plot is quite typical for an action thriller with twists and turning of coats. The actors are surprisingly good and the B-movie plot has a good pace. The stock footage scenes are integrated to the movie using fun to spot pons asinorum scenes for example what is a limousine from "Delta Force 2" doing parked next to a country house? And later a soldier boarding a helicopter takes off his coat to match the following stock footage. It is not a great film but could be a lot worse. Fans of cheap direct to video films might want to check it out. 

Familiar face from many TV-series Michael Cavanaugh appears as Col. Jim Donnerman, Ret.

Rating: Average

Starring: Dean Cain, Jennifer Beals, Frederic Forrest, Stacy Keach, John Beck, Brett Butler, Christopher Maleki, James C. Victor, Dean Hallo, Bill Langlois Monroe, Michael Cavanaugh, Shawna Casey, Curtis Blanck, David Dunard, Billy Rieck, Jeff Kober, Ryan Cutrona, Paul Terrell Clayton, Tom Ferguson, Dale E. House, George Christy, Kipp Tribble 

Director: Jim Wynorski (as Jay Andrews)

Movie Review: Dragon Fighter

Dragon Fighter 

Angry Dragon Entertainment, Dragon Productions LLC, Unified Film Organization (UFO), USA, Bulgaria, 2003. 

In medieval Britain knights hunt for a killer dragon. They blow up its cave (with some bad CGI falling rock effects). In modern day California helicopter pilot Captain David Carver (Dean Cain) is transporting cloning specialist Dr. Ian Drackovitch (Robert Zachar) to secret underground research site. Carver has great deduction skills so he gets a new job as security chief. The helicopter has a fuel leak but that's okay for now. (The fuel problem is only important in the end of the movie, although it does not cause too serious problems.)

Dragon

Dr. Drackovitch

Captain David Carver

The other personnel of the site are Russian Capt. Sergei Petrov (Hristo Shopov) and Dr. Meredith Winter (Kristine Byers). Dr. Greg Travis (Marcus Aurelius) is an animal handler and there are some technical staff: Kevin the system analyst, Bailey the genetic encoder and Cookie the cook (Robert DiTillio, Vesela Dimitrova, Chuck Eckert). It is a wonder Kevin got his job as his IQ is less than his shoe number. Special note: the other characters are introduced using character cards, but for some reason Cookie does not have one. There are also two expendable unintroduced assistants.

Left: Greg, Bailey, Middle: Dr. Drackovitch, Right: Meredith, Kevin

Meredith and Carver discuss about Carver's career choice

It always pays to study

Dr. Drackovitch wants to clone a dragon using the bones found in the cave. The incubation goes faster than expected. The dragon decides to have a barbecue party with scientists on the menu. Dragon obsessed Dr. Drackovitch is reluctant to allow carver destroy his creation. Also the fusion reactor of the lab is about to explode. Kevin gets drunk and plays the stereo so loud that the neighbour complains.

Let's grill!

I'm starving. Fancy a BBQ?

The plot recycles ideas from "Jurassic Park", "Deep Blue Sea" or "Alien Resurrection." The movie uses a lot split screen gimmickry. The screens are not in sync and the effect is overused. The movie is stupid but in funny way. Many of the characters in the film die in a way  worthy of Darwin awards. Also the dialogue is enjoyably silly.  The  fighter pilots trying to kill the dragon have a problem because the missiles can not lock into organic target and apparently they can not use guns. A free idea for designing a stealth fighter jet, cover it with bacon. Also the exploding fusion reactor keeps large part of the lab intact for the (not coming) sequels. 

The director Phillip Roth (not the American novelist!) also directed the bad (but not as funny) jet fighter race movie "Hyper Sonic." Being distrubuted by Syfy (formerly Sci Fi Channel) it sure has the Syfy touch in it. [updated the relation to Syfy channel, as IMDB does not mention it being a Sci Fi  Pictures production.] Amusingly bad movie.

Rating: So bad it is good

Starring: Dean Cain, Kristine Byers, Robert Zachar, Marcus Aurelius, Robert DiTillio, Vesela Dimitrova, Hristo Shopov, Chuck Eckert, Kelly Wilborn, Hector Kleist, John Barnsall, Chad Boyer, Matthew Coe, Matt Harris, Darius Kerns, Harold McBain, Hristo Dimitrov 

Director: Phillip J. Roth

Movie Review: The Final Countdown

The Final Countdown a.k.a U.S.S. Nimitz: Lost in the Pacific

The Bryna Company, USA, 1980.

Mysterious billionaire Mr. Tideland assigns systems analyst Warren Lasky (Martin Sheen) to aircraft carrier U.S.S. Nimitz. His duty is to observe and think ways of making things go more efficiently. Captain Matthew Yelland (Kirk Douglas) welcomes him aboard. Unexpected storm rises and the ship is sucked into a mysterious vortex. When they recover, the contacts to military base are dead except for some ancient radio signals. The ship has ended in the middle of World War II just before attack on Pearl Harbor. Commander Richard Owens (James Farentino) is a history specialist so his knowledge comes in handy. The officers try to decide if they should interfere with the Japanese attack and change history or just go with the flow.

Warren Lasky

Captain Matthew Yelland

Commander Richard Owens

The Japanese Zeros attack a yacht carrying Senator Samuel Chapman (Charles Durning) and his secretary Laurel Scott (Katharine Ross). The Americans go for help and there is F-14 Tomcats vs Zeros dogfight. Senator, Laurel and Charlie the Dog are saved together with surviving Zero pilot (Soon-Tek Oh). The senator is quite a doofus and Laurel is the one who writes his speeches. Laurel has to struggle in the men's world so Owens begins to admire her.

Time vortex

Laurel Scott

Senator Samuel Chapman

The Japanese attack force nears and Zero pilot gets nasty. Senator tries to send a radio message to Pearl Harbor, but gets a colourful response. Senator and Laurel are taken to safe place but everything does not go as planned. Captain decides to fight the Japanese but the time vortex disagrees with changing the history. Also Mr. Tidelands real identity is revealed.

Zero

Zero pilot gets nasty

This is a good light scifi with good aviation scenes, although there is not much dogfighting. Department of Defense co-operated with the production so there is good footage of aircraft carrier, takeoffs and landings. Real U.S.S Nimitz is well utilized in the movie. There is a slight letdown with the "Deus ex machina" style ending as the movie plays it safe by not changing history. Also the middle part is quite slow and uneventful, after a solid start. Kirk Douglas and Martin Sheen seem to have fun as Captain and the analyst who have some friendly disagreement about the methods.

U.S.S. Nimitz

Rating: Good

Starring: Kirk Douglas, Martin Sheen, Katharine Ross, James Farentino, Ron O'Neal, Charles Durning, Victor Mohica, James Coleman, Soon-Tek Oh, Joe Lowry, Alvin Ing, Mark Thomas, Harold Bergman, Dan Fitzgerald, Lloyd Kaufman, Peter Douglas, Ted Richert, George Warren, Gary Morgan, Phil Philbin,

Robert Goodman, Richard Liberty, Neil Ronco, Bill Couch, Jack McDermott, Masayuki Yamazuki, George H. Strohsahl Jr., Ronald R. Stoops, Kenneth J. Jaskolski, Sergei M. Kowalchik, Jake Dennis, Jim Toone, Edward J. Deats ,Robert L. Huffman, James R. Augustus, Sam P. Baldwin, Ronnie J. Ellis, Timothy W. Gersbacher, Wayne L. Flesher, William S. Frost, David H. Signor

Director: Don Taylor

Movie Review: Air Strike

Air Strike
Starring: Robert Rusler, Jennifer Gareis, Fredric Lehne, Pepper Sweeney, Ivaylo Geraskov, Assen Blatechki, Krasimer Vankov, Ivo Tonchev, Atanas Srebrev, Piotr Ksheninski, Benjamin Burdick, Tyrone Pinkham, Kitodar Todorov, Vladimir Nikolov, Max Gonzales, Nikolai Iliev, Dimiter Kuzov, Dimiter Stefanov, Delyan Dabov, Petya Evtimova, Stoyo Mirkov 

Director: David Worth
Nu Image Films, Martien Holdings A.V.V., USA, Bulgaria, 2004. 

The President of the USA sends helicopter pilots into Eastern Europe country Petrovia to fight terrorists. Evil drug lord Ivan Stefanovich (Ivaylo Geraskov) is on the target list. Cigar-loving Colonel Blackwall (Fredric Lehne) sends a group of helicopters and Rangers to destroy the drug shipment. After a successful start the team takes heavy casualties. 

Colonel Blackwall

Close call

U-S-A! U-S-A!

Blackwall goes to meet retired Apache-pilot Ben Garret (Robert Rusler). He asks Ben to return to service. Also the terrorists killed Ben's brother Jack (Krasimer Vankov). There is more flag waving than in a Roland Emmerich film. In the middle of the fight chopper pilots start chanting: U-S-A! U-S-A! Of course some pesky local officials come to an American bar, so it's time for a bar fight! 

Ben Garret

Charlie

Ivan and Chicaco scheming

There is also a female pilot Charlie (Jennifer Gareis). Ivan goes around bombing and terrorizing. After increasing personal losses, it is time to get revenge on Ivan and his right-hand man Chigago (Assen Blatechki). For a drug lord Ivan is heavily equipped, with an army of tanks.

Nasty terrorist

Apache attack copter

Major Hanks

However the tanks are not a problem for the choppers, but the eight guys with assault rifles and rocket launchers. At one point Ben is captured and tortured, but being a true patriot he does not yield to the demands of the bad guys. Don't get the good guys mad! Ben turns into Rambo and everything blows up. 

Greatest threat to modern attack copters

Ben shooting John Woo style!

Another spectacular explosion

Special effects vary from nice looking explosions and helicopter props to bad CGI helicopters. There is a lot of stock footage used. Some of the footage originates from Nicolas Cage film "Fire Birds - Wings of the Apache". There are almost all clichés of military pilot movies and many of military action films. Still there are plenty of explosions and gunfights to satisfy a need for low-budget action fix. 

Fire Birds footage

Rating: Average (as a low budget action film)