Movie Review: Sharktopus

Sharktopus
Starring: Eric Roberts, Sara Malakul Lane, Kerem Bursin, Héctor Jiménez, Liv Boughn, Shandi Finnessey
Peter Nelson
Director: Declan O'Brien
New Horizons Picture, Bay City Productions, Syfy, USA, 2010.

 Cult horror director Roger Corman and Julie Corman produced this made for TV movie.

Bree (Maija Markula) almost gets eaten by shark, but remotely controlled Sharktopus (or S-11) kills the shark. Sharktopus has sharp-pointed tentacles, sharp teeth and it can spew ink. Nathan Sands (Eric Roberts) is testing it with his daughter Nicole (Sara Malakul Lane). Commander Cox (Peter Nelson) wants to test Sharktopus but the remote controller gets damaged and Sharktopus gets out of control. Soon it spears some local people and then heads for Mexico. (There is a really weird image on landing aircraft).

Take that, Jaws.

"Oh no, not like this!"

Is the aircraft landing on water or what?

It's up to Sands' to track and capture the beast or the funding is terminated. Santos (Julian Gonzalez Esparza) suggest them to contact Andy Flynn (Kerem Bursin) for help. He is at swimming pool. He is underwater bareheaded AND WHEN HE SURFACES HE HAS A SOMBRERO ON HIS HEAD! This is awesome!

Andy with his favourite drink

Nicole Sands

Nathan Sands, the inventor of Sharktopus

There is a funny scene when a bikini girl finds a gold coin on the beach. A geezer watches her (that's Roger Corman himself in cameo role). Sharktopus eats the girl so the geezer gets the coin. Lucky guy!

Lucky guy!

Sharktopus goes to beach

Investigating reporter Stacy Everheart (Liv Boughn) and camera man Bones (Héctor Jiménez) interview Pez (Blake Lindsey) who has seen Sharktopus. Stacy wants a big scoop on TV and they go chasing Sharktopus. here is also a pirate radio DJ named Captain Jack (Ralph Garman) with assistant Stephie (Shandi Finnessey, Miss USA 2004). They quarrel about informing the public about the Sharktopus. Andy thinks Nathan did something to make Sharktopus more ferocious. Nicole does not believe it first because she thinks that Nathan is a man of science.

Bones and Stacy

Stephie and Captain Jack

However dad tells Nicole that the Sharktopus was modified for military purposes. Nicole and Andy decide to destroy the monster. T Meanwhile Sharktopus goes eating tourists and we get some routine beast hunting. Then the movie gets a bit more serious. (Interestingly also Nicole loses her glasses and Andy loses his shirt).

The heroes get serious

Wonder if it is bulletproof

The movie is entertaining and fun cheapie monster movie. The plot is of course run-of-the-mill and effects are of variable TV movie quality. The acting is over the top. However the movie has clearly been made withtongue-in-cheek. The music is mostly happy surf pop or Mexican style music.

Rating: Good

Movie Review: Dinocroc vs. Supergator

Dinocroc vs. Supergator
Starring: David Carradine, Corey Landis, Amy Rasimas, Rib Hillis, John Callahan, Delia Shepard
Director: Jim Wynorski
New Horizons Picture, Bay City Productions, Syfy, 2010.

Cult horror director Roger Corman produced this made for tv movie.

Okay, so the one with wider snout and spikes is the Supergator and one with thin nose is Dinocroc. Supergator escapes the Hawaiian research lab and eats some scientists. Soon also Dinocroc escapes. At the waterfall a young couple gets eaten. Funny thing that the Supergator was hiding in knee-deep water. Also Dinocroc is quite stealthy for a giant reptile.

Supergator

Dinocroc

Paul (Corey Landis) tries to investigate the secret lab unsuccessfully, so he decides to go fishing instead. River police Cassidy Swanson (Amy Rasimas) and her father Charlie (John Callahan) decide that it would be good idea to go searching for the missing persons.

Cassidy and her father Charlie

Drake (David Carradine in one of his last roles) is the owner of the lab. He calls some mercenaries to take out the reptile problem and eliminate the witnesses. Of course Dinocroc is immune to bullets so the mercs become another snack for Dinocroc. Drake's assistant Victoria (Lisa Clapperton) tells Drake about the failed mission, so Drake calls the alligator hunter the Cajun (Rib Hillis) whose real name is Logan. The Cajun is in Louisiana hunting Alligators. Paul gets a call from his boss, who tells that the satellite pictures show that the lab was destroyed.

Cassidy and Paul hear some not so distant roaring

Cassidy's boat breaks so Paul gives her a lift back to town. Cassidy is actually a conservation officer for Fish and Game department. There are rocks on the road, so they have to take a detour via Drake's research area. Meanwhile a jerk (Victor Macias) is harassing some tourist girls (Ashley Murphy & Katy Magnuson) at the hotel. The Cajun has apparently teleported himself to Hawaii. He shoves the jerk into pool to cool off.

Local jerk

The Cajun, alligator hunter and gentleman

Later the tourist girls meet famous nature photographer Reese Hammond (Brooks Kephart). The girls want Reese to take a picture of them. So Reese walks to the edge of water to take a picture... and you can probably guess what happens next. Paul seems suspicious to Cassidy, so Paul tells her that he is a Eco-spy who investigates Drake for doing illegal military research using fast growing organisms. As proof he shows some giant mushrooms.

Girls want to be in the picture

Some big mushrooms

In the movie there are two Jurassic Park style car chases on what seems to be the same road on both occassions. Drake orders Victoria to kill all witnesses. Cajun says alligators and crocodiles are mortal enemies and they should try to make them fight. Meanwhile a tourist bus is visiting a hotel used in filming a Roger Corman movie "She Gods of Shark Reef". Well, bad idea. There is an annoying tourist lady obsessed with Elvis. Guess who is eaten first. After second car chase the Dinocroc and Supergator finally fight. The wimpy Supergator does not have much a chance against Dinocroc. Finally we get also some crispy croc.

First Déjà-vu

Finally the final fight

The monster CGI isn't all bad. The acting is awkward and bad. David Carradine mostly sits drinking whiskey and smoking cigars. Some characters appear, only to be eaten by either Dinocroc or Supergator (but mostly Dinocroc, because Supergator appears only in the beginning and the end). The movie goes on for the same way for a while so it soon gets repetive. Also the characters are uninteresting. You don't expect much logic with giant monster films, but the film has just too many stupid moments.

Drake enjoying his Jac Dans whiskey

Bad place to park

Rating: Bad

Movie Review: Battle of the Damned

Battle of the Damned
Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Melanie Zanetti, Matt Doran, David Field, Jen Kuo Sung, Lydia Look, Oda Maria
Director: Christopher Hatton
Bleiberg Entertainment, Compound B, Boku Films, Vividthree Productions, BOTD Productions, USA & Singapore, 2013

Major Max Gatling (Dolph Lundgren) is a tough mercenary who has to get a rich man's daughter out of a zombie-infested Asian city. The mission goes bad and most of his group gets eaten. Max continues the mission alone. He finds the girl, named Jude (Melanie Zanetti) who tells about other survivors living in a big mansion. The leader of the survivors is Duke (David Field) who thinks it is impossible to leave the city.

Dolph as Major Max Gatling

Everyone wants a piece of Max

Other survivors are Jude's boyfriend Reese (Matt Doran), swordsman Elvis (Jen Kuo Sung), jogging enthusiast Lynn (Lydia Look) and Anna (Oda Maria) who is kind of Duke's secretary. Max tries to kidnap Jude and take her out of the city, but Duke captures him and ties him to a lamp post. Max tells that it is vital to leave the city before the officials destroy the whole city to destroy the infected. 

Elvis, Jude, Max, Duke and Reese

Max can fight zombies without using arms

Jogging enthusiast Lynn

Luckily Max is so tough that he can kill zombies even handcuffed. Reese saves Max to get Jude out of the city. Then the Japanese utility robots appear. There was an earlier movie directed by Christopher Hatton "Robotropolis" that had robots malfunctioning and revolting. Well, some of the robots repaired themselves and walked to the zombie city. Max and Reese find out that the robots are very handy in killing zombies.

Duke with Anna

Sligthly worn robots

Max's with his new best friend

The setting is a bit like Resident Evil and Escape from New York combined. Much of the action happens in narrow alleys or scrap yards. Dolph plays the usual tough guy role, Melanie Zanetti is fun as witty Jude. The movie is okay zombie action film but the plot takes the usual route.

Melanie Zanetti as Jude

Fierce zombie gang

Rating: Average